Wow. Better off Dead is one of my favorite movies. And I loved the Camero in it. I salute this guy.

Freaking damn it. I'm so annoyed. I finally find a house that I really dig and I just found out that it's been sold. This keeps freaking happening. I've just about freaking had it.

My brother and his wife are probably going to make excellent parents. I mean, just look at the kid they created, he's so sweet. They will probably teach them all sorts of good things like how to eat right and be healthy and how to make good moral decisions.

Me? I'll be able to teach my future offspring how to light a cigarette while driving.

This is my new nephew Jacob Robert. I love him already.

HA! I think I've found a new craft project to work on.

It's probably wrong to laugh at anti-terrorist propoganda. And I'm sure I'll probably end up on some sort of list for posting this. But what the hell is California thinking??? What's even funnier is the entire page of finalists. See kids, this is what happens when you cut your schools' art budgets. Why does patriotic stuff have to look so tacky? Why, God, why?!!???

"Wal-Mart employees have a reputation for being cheerful and now Playboy.com is giving them a chance to smile for the camera." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The few times I've been to Wal-Mart, I had never ever ever ever at all seen anyone at all that even slightly resembled cheerful. Ever. At all.

Ok, now I'm practically weeping here listening to Silent Night - Bon Jovi. Thank god for the iTunes store. Man, where's my lighter when I really need it...

[sways back and forth in time with the song]

Siiiiiileeeennnnnt Niiiiigggghhhhht... Just hold me close... and don't let me gooooooooooo-ohhhhhhh-oooooooo... When the sun appeared, there was nothing left but goodbyes...

Ha! The people at some mortgage company actually pre-qualified me for a mortgage. Suckers...

Maybe I'll be out of here sooner than I thought. That thought makes me all kinds of happy. Almost as happy as finding Long Way to Love in the iTunes store...

I've just discovered the iTunes store from Apple. I hadn't been able to get there before because I was stuck in the past and resisted using the new OS I had installed earlier in the year. But tonight, I was feeling a bit adventurous and crazy. So I updated some shit, and BAM! I'm in the iTunes store buying songs left and right. The first song I bought was Can I Play with Madness? - Iron Maiden, followed by Can't Smile Without You - Barry Manilow. Yeah! Whoever invented the iTunes stores is pure genius! I've already spent the last hour going through the artists. Good thing I'm on the PC at work, because I think I would spend waayyyyyy too much money there. Now, all I need to do is get me an iPod...

Hello, and welcome to the end of day two of the South Beach Diet. I am currently headachy and feeling cranky and irritable from the lack of carbs and sugar. I haven't lost the 30 pounds yet, and I'm starting to get impatient. And really sick of cheese.

If I could just get the bastard head ache to go away, I'd be much more pleasant to be around...

You know what sucks? Dry socket. I have personal knowledge of this. Remember Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man being asked "Is it safe?" That was me at the dentist today. He even gave me clove oil. And it works like you wouldn't believe...

Suddenly, I want to go to work and create my own Stealth Disco. My office would be so much more fun.

Finally, a website catered to my level of culinariness.

I'm going and getting my 4 giant huge oversized impacted wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning. I splurged for the IV sedation so there will be no memory of this procedure. I plan to spend the next few days in my parents' theater room watching a big stack of movies and being totally doped up on pain killers with my head wrapped in some sort of not at all stylish ice pack. Good times.